Well, the road to giving up an addiction is never easy, filled with set backs and temptations. Here I am, starting over on my journey to quit smoking.
Yesterday, I woke up with a migraine that threatened to undo me. My head hurt so badly that I threw up half the day, and slept a lot. I have not felt that terrible in almost a decade. Even my morning sickness was not that bad, because I did not have the white fiery pain ripping through my skull with morning sickness. Migraines are horrid. I've only had two migraines in my entire life and I do not hope to ever experience that again.
I took a few drags off of a cigarette yesterday. This morning, I smoked a few drags on a cigarette and felt sick. So, I figure this is a good starting over point. I don't have a pack of my own, and there are no smokers around. Although, the way I'm feeling today - stomach and head tender with recovery - I doubt that I'd be up for smoking so much anyway. It's time to quit. It's time to be done with that garbage. I have so many more wonderful things to focus on. I doubt I'll be smoking any more today, but I'll keep you posted, of course.
Tonight and tomorrow morning, I am attending a writer's workshop with my Grandma Gail. I'm SO excited to be going! Yay!
The end of the day - Conclusion. I broke down and bought a pack today; smoked three cigarettes and all three of them made me feel nauseous. Not pleasant. So... ugh! The cycle continues. I think three a day will be my max for a week, and then when this pack runs out (pray, pray, pray), that will be the end. It's a disgusting habit. I don't know, I may just give this pack away to someone. God, give me strength to let go of coping behaviors, and hold on to You!
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